How to Deal: Dealing with Students - Lost in Translation - Part 2

This is a continuation of the earlier Part 1 post.

This is a common issue that can absolutely drive teachers up the wall.

You scan the room. Everyone else is ready. One student is clearly not paying attention. You ask them to take out their book, already frustrated because you’ve said it twice and written it on the board.

Instead of reaching into their bag and taking out the book, the student remains completely immobile and announces, “I was taking it out,” in a tone the teacher interprets as, Are you blind? I was obviously about to do that.

Before we go any further, let me offer one important disclaimer: sometimes this habit is so ingrained that you simply need to choose a different hill to die on and decide not to take it personally.

Students often say this reflexively. In their mind, you’re accusing them of something.

“Joan, take out your book” is not heard as a neutral classroom direction. To that student, it feels like public correction—or even public embarrassment. Their response is less about defiance and more about defending themselves.

If this is happening with a student who generally has a good relationship with you, pull them aside privately and ask what kind of signal would help.

"I’ve noticed that sometimes when the class transitions, you seem to miss the cue. Is there a signal we could use that would help without making you feel called out?"

If you don’t yet have a strong relationship—or if the relationship is strained—approach it as collaborative problem-solving instead of correction.

"I’ve noticed that sometimes you seem to miss my cues when we switch activities. What do you think would help? Should I pause by your desk during transitions? Would an audible chime help the whole class?"

When students are invited to help solve the problem instead of defend themselves against an accusation, the entire tone of the interaction often changes.

When a student gets up multiple times during class, it may be time to offer a movement break instead of assuming the issue is actually tissues.

I have absolutely let myself fall into the trap of becoming progressively more irritated as a student gets up yet again to get a tissue, interacts with every student on the way to the teacher’s desk, grabs the tissue, interacts with every student on the way to the trash can, gently rubs the tissue across their nose without actually blowing it, interacts with a few more people on the way back to their seat... and then begins the entire production again ten minutes later.

This is an issue I cover in more detail in my course about setting up classroom protocols at the beginning of the year, because prevention is much easier than intervention.

Sometimes this simply requires a procedure reset.

However, if the behavior continues, here are a few quick fixes:

Limit the Supply

Hand the student one or two tissues at the beginning of class.

That’s the ration. There will be no more after those are gone.

This eliminates one leg of the social expedition and quietly lets the student know that you are aware of the pattern.

Remove the Trash Can Pilgrimage

Put a small paper bag or mini trash container near the student and let them know they can dispose of tissues there and empty it on the way out at the end of class.

No parade to the trash can required.

Move the Trash Can Instead of the Student

If the tissue routine is becoming performance art, move the trash can closer to the student.

Again, less wandering = fewer audience interactions.

Name the Real Need

Sometimes the student doesn’t actually need a tissue. They need movement, social interaction, or a break from sitting.

If that’s the case, offering a legitimate movement break may solve the real problem more effectively than policing the fake nose emergency.

And yes... sometimes the student is absolutely taking the scenic route past their crush, apparently unaware that the tissue strategy makes them look less “mysteriously interesting” and more like Patient Zero.

When Students Talk to You Like You’re Their Lunch Buddy Instead of Their Teacher

This tends to be more common in middle and high school, where students are experimenting with identity, casual language, and social boundaries.

Part of this is actually a language issue.

In many languages, there are built-in ways to signal respect through word choice. (Think usted in Spanish.) English used to lean more heavily on “Sir” and “Ma’am” to create that distinction, but contemporary speech has become much more casual, and many students simply don’t have a strong model for what respectful-but-normal teacher communication sounds like.

That doesn’t mean they get to call you “bro” while telling you to chill.

It does mean that some of them genuinely don’t understand why it feels inappropriate.

A few strategies that help:

Teach It Explicitly

Don’t assume students automatically know how to address adults in a school setting.

I usually cover this in my beginning-of-the-year slideshow, along with other classroom expectations. Then I post a simple cheat sheet, because no student remembers every expectation from the first two days of school.

Be Specific About What Works

Tell students what respectful language sounds like to you.

Examples:

• Mr./Mrs./Ms. Smith

• Sir

• Ma’am

• Excuse me

• May I ask a question?

Students can’t hit a target they’ve never been shown.

Teach Appropriate Pushback

Students also need to know the difference between appropriate communication and inappropriate timing.

For example:

• “Don’t argue with me while I’m giving whole-class directions.” → reasonable

• “Never question anything I say.” → absolutely ridiculous

There’s a difference between teaching respectful communication and demanding robotic obedience.

Create a Reset Signal

Sometimes students slip into casual speech without thinking.

Having a quick signal between you and the student—a look, a phrase, a hand motion—can serve as a reminder for both of you to reset before the interaction escalates.

Because while “Yo, chill bro” may be perfectly acceptable when talking to a friend at lunch, it lands very differently when directed at the person grading your essay.